My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
