either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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