I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
