Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize