someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
