guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
