tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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