so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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