living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
