do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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