I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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