wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We left an ass print on the piano.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
