No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
