is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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