Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize