Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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