Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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