My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
