There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
