fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
