i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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