He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
