His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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