I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize