just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
