We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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