I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
