You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
