I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
