You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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