I can't watch pbs sober anymore
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Mom said you looked used
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
