I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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