What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize