dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
