So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
