I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
my liver is dry heaving
So vagazzling was a success
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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