9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
