I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
