I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
