Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
