C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize