yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
