Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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