Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize