Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
