Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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