Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
