**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
