You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
