I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
