i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
