why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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