kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
