hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
