If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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