Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
FUCK WHALES
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
