your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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