Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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