So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
