just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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