Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You need Xanax blowdarts
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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