is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
