Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
