We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
