my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
